I'm fat. Not I-Love-My-Extra-Large-Lover Jerry Springer Show fat, but more Anna Nicole stripper fat. Not cool. More importantly, I am unhealthy. I am obese. I am unhappy.
I know what you're thinking. The same thing my sister thinks. Put down the fork, Fatty! Trust me, easier said then done. I love to eat. Nothing makes me happier than to go out and indulge in all things fat. I have yet to find a restaurant where I cannot find something to eat. I never order the lunch portion. I pick off my children's plates, my mother's plate, my husband's plate. It is sad.
So, I have decided to force myself to lose weight. I hate myself and it is ruining my marriage. I love my husband, but feel even he should not have to look at me this way. I refuse to allow my two daughters to grow up with bad self-esteem. I want them to love themselves in a way I have yet to allow myself. They deserve having me around for a long time. They did not ask to be born, it is not fair for me to kill myself slowly without allowing them the chance to get to know me. I want to be around to see them grow, learn and endure. They deserve it and I deserve that chance also.
I begin my journey at 164 lbs. I am 5' 1" so this makes me obese. My goal is 130 lbs. I hope to achieve this by September 2010. That gives me two and a half months to lose the weight. I will not crash diet. I will lose my weight in a healthy fashion. I refuse to give up food, but I can make better decisions with my diet. I CAN do this!
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