Okay, so the hus dropped me off three miles from home yesterday. On a dirt road. It was almost dark. Anyone see where I'm going with this? Skunks! Taht's where I'm going! Skunks! Big ones! Fluffy ones! Ones that wanted to dimember me and eat me as I slowly died! I didn't have my cell phone (first time for everything) and I was miles (1) away from civilization! I had been walking for all of, oh, three minutes, the dust had hardly even settled from Daniel driving off, and there he was! I assume it was a he because if it had been a she, it would have just grazed along in the brush like Flower on Bambi (this is my minds interpretation of what a female skunk does).
Anyway, I had no more than put my arm down from waving goodbye to my children, unknowingly for the last time, when I saw movement. Slowly at first, a fluffy black and white figure came into my view. Coming at me from the south. He stopped. For a brief period we looked at each other as if to come to an understanding about who was the dominant figure in this scenario. Then I realized that it was not me!
That skunk lit into a sprint across the pasture in my direction that Superman could not even touch! I stood there. Frozen. What was I to do? All of my farm experience told me to stand still and let him go where he would. But my mind said, "No! Run you idiot! It's a freaking skunk!" The mind won out and as I passed him by a mere few inches ( six yards) I could not get my body to stop.
I ran 100 yards to safety! And now that I was sufficiently paranoid, I had to keep looking over my shoulder, sure that he was after me. The rest of my walk was spent praying for Daniel to come pick me up and scouting for other vermin. I think I will stick to the walking trail from now on. I have never seen a skunk there.
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